


Be My Morning, Be My Night

by taeminki



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 13:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10309040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: be my angel, ring my bell





	

**Author's Note:**

> ♪ somebody to love -seventeen (original by bigbang)  
>  **tw** | abuse

When Hong Jisoo and Yoon Jeonghan came together, it was kind of like they were meant for each other. Jeonghan blushed a lot upon their first meeting. He'd been sitting in a rather crowded library with someone that appeared to be his boyfriend when Jisoo first saw them. Jisoo was looking for a place to sit, to read his book for the two hours he had before his next class (he was supposed to be on lunch break, but he hadn't been eating much as of lately). He saw Jeonghan, and his heart did one of those stupid little flips that everyone's did when they saw their soulmate, and he had to go over, he had to interrupt the conversation between Jeonghan and the man he was sitting with.  
  
"Excuse me-- I'm really sorry to interrupt, but do you think I could sit here? I won't be a bother-- I'd like to read, and... well, there are a lot of people here." Jisoo said. He had a soft voice, sweet, compelling as his friend, Soonyoung, always told him. He could pull anyone in with that voice-- either in an innocent or rather dirty way. Soonyoung often told Jisoo he had the perfect mix of a pretty and sexy voice; it all depended on the accent he used when he spoke his words. Jisoo forced his accent to be a little more Korean. It was difficult, considering he wasn't native to the country or the language-- only the ethnicity-- but it got him a cute reaction.  
  
"Of course! Your voice is really sweet-- you can talk to us, if you want. We were just talking about that new series-- _Simple Spelling_ , _Simple Rhyming_ \-- have you read them?" Jeonghan asked, and it was such a coincidence, Jisoo thought as he held up the book he was reading-- the fourth in series, _Simple Painting_. Jeonghan's eyes lit up immediately, saying how he was just about to get that book, how he'd been so excited for the fourth to come out. He shyly asked if Jisoo would tell him when he returned the book to the library so he could go and pick it up once it was back; and just like that, they'd exchanged numbers.  
  
"Oh! Jihoon," the man with Jeonghan said; his name was Seungcheol, Jisoo had learned when the two of them introduced themselves to one another. Seungcheol had pulled out his phone from where it had vibrated in his pocket, earning a look from Jeonghan (like he shouldn't have had it on in the first place). The look went soft at the mention of a name unfamiliar to Jisoo. Seungcheol looked up from his phone, "Hey, I've got to go-- now. It was really nice to meet you, Jisoo! Bye! I hope I see you again!"  
  
Jisoo gave a curious look once Seungcheol had gone, wondered why he'd rushed off so quick. Jeonghan did a quick little explanation, quite vague, but it gave Jisoo all the information he was interested in-- "Ah, Jihoon is Seungcheol's boyfriend. He's new to the college-- just came in this year-- and he hasn't eaten in a couple days. I'm not sure what the text was about, but I think he was hungry."  
  
"You're not his boyfriend?" Jisoo asked, and he wondered how he could be so rude as to ask _that_ when there were a million other things he could have asked-- like concern for the stranger; why hadn't Jihoon been eating? Jeonghan gave a light chuckle that made Jisoo feel a little bit less rude, "Ah, no. A lot of people think that-- but Seungcheol's just a very touchy, loving person. If you become close to him, people will think he's dating you, too. But-- only strangers. One look at Seungcheol with Jihoon and you _know_ they're meant to be."  
  
"I hope I do become close to him, then. Not for the dating rumors-- I'd like to see him and Jihoon together." Jisoo said. Jeonghan was quick to pull out his phone, to simply unlock it; and there was a picture of Seungcheol with a boy, much shorter than himself, leaning into him. He had pink hair. The two of them were facing each other, with Seungcheol smiling down at the pink-haired boy, with the other staring up at Seungcheol, a mirrored smile on his face. They were holding hands, and they were under a very pretty tree, and they looked like a typical high school, puppy-love type couple, but Jisoo could definitely see something deeper there.  
  
"They've been friends since they were real, real little, and they'd been dating since Jihoon was fifteen. He's nineteen now-- they've been together for four years." Jeonghan said, putting his phone down on the table as it went dark again. Jisoo could still see a reflection of the picture on his eyelids when he blinked. The picture was sticking with him so well; they really did look like the perfect couple. Perhaps they appeared as though they'd be an annoying type of couple-- always cuddling and kissing and holding hands-- but what was a good couple if they didn't have too much skin-ship?  
  
"They're beautiful." Jisoo said. His fingers went to his mouth, temporary covering them at the slip of the words. He shook his head and his hand, "No, sorry, I mean-- _together_. They're beautiful together-- they're a beautiful couple."  
  
"They are." Jeonghan said, and he pressed the button on the bottom of his phone that would have it lighting up again, that would portray that same picture. Jeonghan gave a little smile, tapping on the screen of his phone a couple times. "Ah, I'm in love with the way they're in love. You should see them-- they're disgustingly perfect for each other. Seungcheol's always been into shorter people-- he's bisexual, by the way-- because he's a really protective type of person, and Jihoon-- will never, ever admit it, but-- he loves being protected, and it's really easy to tell by the way he actually _melts_ into tall people. It's fucking adorable."  
  
Jeonghan laughed fondly, "And they're the type of couple that are so affection with _each other_ that it accidentally passes onto other people, and they don't get jealous at all the shared affection. It's sickening. They're too perfect."  
  
"They must be soulmates." Jisoo said. Jeonghan's phone screen went dark again, but he continued to stare at it for a few moments. He finally lifted his head when Jisoo asked, "Do you believe in soulmates, Jeonghan?"  
  
"Depends." Jeonghan said, shrugged. He looked at Jisoo, straight into his eyes, and it made Jisoo nervous for a moment, made his hair stick up with goosebumps. Jeonghan's voice was quiet-- _so_ quiet, even for a library, as he asked, "Do you believe in love at first sight?"  
  
"I'm going to take that whatever I answer to that will be your answer to _my_ question." Jisoo said. Jeonghan nodded, smile tugging at the corner of his lips, but it looked rather said. Jisoo smiled himself, hoping the happiness would reflect over to Jeonghan's lips. "It's a good thing my answer is yes, then, isn't it?"  
  
It didn't take a genius to figure out that Jisoo and Jeonghan were going to go somewhere. It didn't start off immediately; they gave it a while, of course, before they actually started to _date_ , and they gave it a while more before they began to call each other boyfriends, before they _fell in love_. Their palms fell together so easily even before the first date. Seungcheol, who was always a little oblivious to love that wasn't his own, gave them little smirks, looks, and winks, and made a bet-- "You both owe me lunch if you fall in love next month."  
  
(It ended up a double date when Jihoon was brought along.)

  
  
"Halfway through the semester!" Jeonghan flopped down onto Jisoo's bed, having walked home with him, having been invited in. Jisoo gave a soft chuckle. It had been like this for a little while. Something about Jeonghan's attitude after school told Jisoo he didn't want to go home, the way he walked slow and pointed out insignificant things, the way he would "get tired" and ask Jisoo to sit on the curb with him for a little while, the way he would sometimes drag Jisoo through the park on a particularly bad day, and they would kiss on the swings until the little kids were let off of school to go to the park with their parents. Jisoo would invite Jeonghan to stay with him for a while, and he would keep Jeonghan with him for as long as he could, just so Jeonghan didn't have to go back to a home he seemed to hate so damn much.  
  
"Halfway through the semester." Jisoo agreed, laying down right next to Jeonghan. When he was settled, Jeonghan lifted his gaze to Jisoo's face. Their eyes connected easily, and they both laughed, leaned in at the same time for a kiss. Jeonghan shifted a little bit, his body inching closer to Jisoo's just moments after their lips had touched. Jisoo's hand came to hold Jeonghan's cheek, but Jeonghan's hand bumped his; he must have reached up at the same time. Their fingers fell into one another's instead, held between their chests, now pressed together.  
  
"We shouldn't." Jeonghan muttered, as if he already knew where Jisoo thought they might be going. Jisoo wore a taken aback expression anyway, because he didn't think they'd actually _go anywhere_. Jeonghan bit his bottom lip, looking regretful-- "You... weren't even think about about that, were you? I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay." Jisoo said. He let go of Jeonghan's hand, moved his palm against Jeonghan's cheek instead, his other hand coming up to hold Jeonghan's other cheek. He leaned in and kissed Jeonghan softly again, thumbs rubbing over his face, "I thought we might have been heading in that direction, but that's okay. We don't have to. You're right, really-- we shouldn't."  
  
"Do you... do you _want to?_ " Jeonghan asked.  
  
"Yeah." Jisoo blurted without thinking. He cringed softly, sighed-- "No, I mean. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I-- I _do_ want to, but not right now. I'll wait. We should wait-- we're going to wait."  
  
"Are you sure? I can--"  
  
"No. No. You don't want to, so we're not going to." Jisoo said. He moved his hands off of Jeonghan's cheeks and wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders instead, playing with the strands of hair falling over Jisoo's pillows. "Instead, we're going to lay here, and you're going to tell me another one of your endless stories, because you might think they're annoying, but I think they're the most interesting things I've had the pleasure of listening to."  
  
"Even more than the _Simple_ series?" Jeonghan asked. Jisoo shrugged playfully, "Well, I didn't have to _listen_ to that--"  
  
Jeonghan his Jisoo's chest softly, one of those beautiful, _beautiful_ laughs escaping his mouth. Jisoo tugged Jeonghan in _once again_ , and he felt like a part of that one typical couple that touched too much, that couldn't get enough of each other's lips. He had no shame in loving up Jeonghan though, absolutely loved to kiss at Jeonghan's nose and tell him, "I'm just kidding, baby. Your stories are much better than the _Simple_ series."  
  
"You think so?" Jeonghan asked; Jisoo nodded easily. So Jeonghan rolled over onto Jisoo, tapping along his chest as he told a story, as Jisoo focused on his eyes but played with his hair anyway, fingers naturally adding tiny, tiny braids to the ends of Jeonghan's hair. Jeonghan told him a story of when he was real little, meeting a boy called Mingyu that lived across the street. He talked about how Mingyu played with his hair, how he picked a lot of pretty flowers and put them in Jeonghan's hair, even though it was short back then; he made them stick. He talked about how they sat on the curb, how a boy called Wonwoo, who lived right next to Mingyu, saw them outside and asked if he could play, too. He ended up putting rocks in Jeonghan's hair, but that was okay; it was really pretty at the end.  
  
"How'd your parents react to that?" Jisoo asked, already laughing at how Jeonghan's mom and dad might react when they saw their son coming home with flowers and rocks in his hair-- all to look like a crown. Jeonghan stopped laughing, all of it fading, his smile even going away. Jisoo paused very abruptly, but Jeonghan was smiling again before Jisoo could react, was shaking his head softly, looking almost _fond_ of something-- but Jisoo could read Jeonghan easier than he read _Simple Spelling_ in high school.  
  
"Ah, they reacted like typical parents, you know." Jeonghan said. Jisoo thought what he said next was a little cruel, with too much sarcasm, because he knew it was a lie, knew it was bullshit and Jeonghan wasn't telling him something, "Well, what if I didn't know? How'd they react?"  
  
"Like-- like typical parents. You do know. Jisoo--" Jeonghan tried, trying to get himself out of a lie that had clearly been detected. Jisoo was frowning, looking concerned from where he'd been laughing just a few moments ago. Jisoo's hands moved to Jeonghan's cheeks again, and he lifted Jeonghan's head to look at him, cutting the boy off, "Jeonghan-- I didn't want to ask, because I didn't want to pry, but what's going on at your home? Something must be happening-- you always avoid going home, and you... you never talk about your parents--"  
  
"Speaking of which." Jeonghan said, a pissed-off expression on his face. He rolled off of Jisoo and grabbed his bag, grabbing his phone and tucking it into his pocket as he was saying, "My dad doesn't like it when I'm late."  
  
And, just like that, Jeonghan left the room. Jisoo followed him down the stairs, tried to stop him from leaving at the front door. He pressed his hands to Jeonghan's shoulders and gently pushed his hands away when Jeonghan tried to shove him away completely. Jeonghan eventually caught a hold of Jisoo's wrists when Jisoo wouldn't let him go-- "Hey. Listen. I trusted you forty minutes ago when you didn't force me into have sex with you. Don't force me. Don't keep me here. I trust you, just-- _please_ leave me alone."  
  
"Alright." Jisoo whispered without a moment's hesitation, his hands going limp to show that Jeonghan could let go. Jeonghan did so hesitantly; Jisoo took a step back when Jeonghan had let go, linked his fingers together behind his back. "I'm sorry. I trust you, too. So be safe, okay? For me?"  
  
Jeonghan didn't say anything. Jisoo sighed. "Baby, I don't want to fight--"  
  
"We're not, we're not." Jeonghan said immediately. He pulled Jisoo in and kissed him. He had his shoes on now, bag over his shoulder, jacket baggy around his torso. Jeonghan leaned back; their lips parted. He looked all sorts of defeated, and Jisoo wanted to chase that expression away, wanted to chase the feeling away entirely, but he didn't have time, Jeonghan said-- "I _do_ have to go home, though. My dad really doesn't like when I'm too late."  
  
"As long as we're okay." Jisoo said; _as long as **you're** okay_ , he wanted to add. He hugged Jeonghan briefly, "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too." Jeonghan said, and he left without promising Jisoo he would be okay when he got home.  
  
Jisoo had trouble sleeping that night-- for obvious reasons. He had a brief idea of messaging Seungcheol about it, about whatever was happening with Jeonghan. Seungcheol would know. He knew _everything_ , no matter how oblivious he came off sometimes. But Jeonghan _trusted_ Jisoo. There was clearly something horrible going on if Jeonghan trusted Jisoo but didn't tell him about it. He didn't want Jisoo to know. Jisoo wouldn't betray him. (Besides, what would Seungcheol tell him? Seungcheol was loyal. He would never say-- not without Jeonghan's direct permission.)

  
  
Three hours of sleep wasn't very good to run on, but Jisoo hauled himself out of bed and got himself ready for school anyway. He could take advantage of one of his many skip days he allowed himself; because going in and learning every day was exhausting, both on mind and body, but he wanted to go and see Jeonghan. _No more pressure_ , he told himself. He wasn't going to let himself ask any questions on behalf of Jeonghan's feelings towards his home. He wouldn't ask what was going on. He wouldn't let himself be overly concerned; he wouldn't let it show, anyway.  
  
"I re-read _Simple Spelling_ last night." Jeonghan said. Jisoo looked up. Jeonghan was looking down at his food-- just as Jisoo had been moments ago. He was poking around, his chopsticks flicking against the noodles but never actually picking them up. Jeonghan lifted his head, gave Jisoo's expression a little smile. "I thought about you the whole time, because you said that was your favorite of the series.... The book does sound a lot like you, you know. Really poetic and beautiful."  
  
"I'm not very poetic." Jisoo chuckled, speaking through the stickiness in his mouth that the clumps of rice from his sushi had caused.  
  
"But you're beautiful." Jeonghan said. Jisoo found that just a little bit funny; he was staring at the most beautiful boy he'd ever seen, one he could claim having fallen in love with upon first sight, and Jeonghan was calling _him_ beautiful. He didn't deny it. He knew how love worked. He knew Jeonghan's thoughts were probably similar to his own, and he would never put down Jeonghan's beauty; so he wouldn't put down his own.  
  
"Just like you." Jisoo said. He leaned forward-- not too much, just enough to be a little bit closer to Jeonghan. He lay his chopsticks across his bowl, bringing his fists beneath his face to rest his chin against as he stared at his lover. "I think you're very beautiful."  
  
"Ah." Jeonghan said, his smile tilted down as he looked at his noodles again. He shook his head softly, "You're too much."  
  
"But you love me." Jisoo said, reaching across the table to hold Jeonghan's hand. For a moment, Jeonghan was silent, looking down at his food-- or perhaps he was looking down at their intertwined fingers. Jisoo always had a hard time following Jeonghan's eyes when they were downcast, especially with strands of his hair from his bangs falling over his eyes. Jeonghan was looking up again soon enough, leaning over the table to steal a kiss from Jisoo's lips.  
  
"I love you a lot. Too much, sometimes, I think." Jeonghan said. His other hand reached over the table, taking Jisoo's free fingers captive. He kissed Jisoo again-- and again and again, little pecks on his lips that had them both giggling. They fell apart after moments. They allowed themselves plenty of sweet moments together in public, but they didn't overdo it; they had some consideration for people that may be distracted by them, or for people that may have kids around that don't want the children to see affection like that.  
  
"And I love you." Jisoo said, another gentle smile breaking through his lips. Jeonghan stared down at his bowl again. Jisoo was starting to become just a little concerned with how Jeonghan was acting-- not eating, at least. Jisoo shook Jeonghan's arms softly-- through their fingers still linked together, "Baby? Why aren't you eating?"  
  
"Uh, no reason. I'm just...." Jeonghan said. He picked up his chopsticks again, fingers falling away from Jisoo's hands, leaving them lonely on the tabletop. Jeonghan twirled his noodles around, "I'm not-- not very hungry right now. I ate a lot today, and. Yeah. I don't really like to eat."  
  
"What did you have for breakfast today, sweetie?" Jisoo asked, and he wondered if that was pushing. The question; was it too much to ask Jeonghan? Was his tone a sign that Jisoo shouldn't be asking him? Was he invading Jeonghan's privacy? Calling out another lie? Jeonghan didn't hesitate to answer, though, and Jisoo knew Jeonghan enough to know that he hesitated and stuttered when he lied. "I got up and made myself some eggs. For once. And I made myself some coffee, too. I'm-- I'm sorry I'm not eating, I just. Sometimes I'll just stop-- and I used to worry Seungcheol with that, you know. I would just stop eating at his house and he would ask if something was wrong, if I was sick, but he gets it, now, gets that sometimes I eat too much and sometimes I don't eat enough or at all and it's really normal for me--"  
  
"Baby." Jisoo stopped him. Jeonghan normally talked quite a bit, which Jisoo was always fine with, fond of. He loved the boy's voice and his stories, little facts about himself that he would always spill, that Jisoo would collect and memorize. But something about the way he was talking, barely breathing and using too much animation in his hands-- something was up. Just a little bit. Just a little. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes. I'm fine. I'm sorry. I'm--" Jeonghan put his chopsticks down again-- rather sloppily; and they rolled off of his bowl onto the table. Jeonghan brought his hands to his face, fingertips brushing his hairline. He brought his fingers down through his hair, all settled when his hands lay themselves against the table again. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I'm really sorry. I was up reading so late, and.... I don't know. I kept eating, too-- all night long. I'm really sorry for how I'm acting, Jisoo, I just don't want you to think something's wrong and-- and-- I'm-- I've been kind of stressed out lately, and it's a lot-- a _lot_ to handle, but I'm _fine_ \--"  
  
"Hey, hey. Okay, okay, don't worry-- don't apologize, it's alright, I was just wondering." Jisoo said. He got up from his seat across from Jeonghan and slid into the booth beside him instead, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and taking his hand as he was sitting. Jisoo pulled him close-- a kiss to the temple, comforting, "It's alright, I won't worry, I promise. I'm sorry if I've been too much. I'm sure I'm not helping your stress much, hmm?"  
  
"Are you kidding? You're the only person that _isn't_ stressing me out to the point I'd like to pull out all of my hair." Jeonghan said, leaning against Jisoo's shoulder. Jeonghan took in a breath and let it out, "It's just. I don't know. I _don't know_ \-- there's a lot going on--"  
  
"It's okay, baby, breathe. Tell me what's going on. Everything that's stressing you out." Jisoo said. Jeonghan shook his head, tried to tell him that there was a lot, but Jisoo didn't care. He didn't care if it was too much-- he wanted to know. So Jeonghan took a deep breath and began to explain, "It's-- my family, first of all. I don't know how to explain it to you, but they're stressing me out pretty bad. And my friends-- Seungcheol. It's not his fault. But Jihoon stll isn't eating, and he doesn't know what to do, and this doesn't even apply to me but I keep worrying over Jihoon and how Seungcheol's doing. And my teachers. They keep dumping assignments and pop quizzes on me and it's-- it's just _way too much_."  
  
"I'm sorry, baby. Sweetheart-- I wish I could help you out." Jisoo said, voice full of regret. Jeonghan let out a little laugh, "Wish? God, you _do_ \-- you help me more than you can imagine. You-- you take me out on cute little dates like this and-- even if I am thinking about the stress now it doesn't feel too bad. It's feels.... Shit, Jisoo, this is _paradise_. I'm with the sweetest boy in the world and-- you're helping me _so much_ right now."  
  
"Just by being here?" Jisoo asked. Jeonghan nodded, smiled, "Just by being here. So don't you dare leave me, okay?"  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it." Jisoo said. He loosened his grip on Jeonghan's shoulder for a moment to reach across the table and grab his food and drink, pull them to him. He would stay by Jeonghan's side, didn't want to move away from him again. "I'm going to send you something tonight, okay? It's a song, and it always makes me feel better when I'm stressed out. And it's a little piece of me to keep with you when you're at home and I'm not right next to you. It can be our song."  
  
"Thanks, Jisoo." Jeonghan said softly. Jisoo let his legs fall, let himself scoot closer to Jeonghan and kiss his jaw softly. _Softly_ , "Don't mention it."  
  
The song was one Jisoo had sung himself, had written and added a simple melody behind with the strings of his guitar. He recorded himself singing and playing the song later, collected the video up with the little message he'd recorded at the end and sent it to Jeonghan. He waited a good twenty minutes without getting worried-- it always took Jeonghan a minute or two to get to his phone, and it would take him about five to watch the video Jisoo had sent him. But half an hour later, he still hadn't replied; and for the rest of the night, Jisoo didn't hear from Jeonghan.  
  
Or the next day-- or the day after that, or after that. He didn't see Jeonghan on campus, and he saw Seungcheol moping around. He never managed to catch up to Seungcheol, couldn't grab him and pull him aside and ask if he knew where Jeonghan was. Did something happen that he wasn't aware of? His mind first went to the worst thought-- that Jeonghan had died. How would Jisoo find out about that? He hadn't spoken to Seungcheol. He hadn't met Jeonghan's parents. Who would tell him? How would he know?  
  
Thursday came around from the last Saturday that Jisoo had seen Jeonghan, and the boy finally turned up. He jogged straight into Jisoo's arms when they saw each other, and Jisoo nearly dropped his phone as he threw his arms around Jeonghan's shoulders. Jeonghan was speaking on a chain before Jisoo could even open his mouth, "Jisoo! Jisoo, I missed you so much! I've been wanting to see you all week--"  
  
"Baby, what's going on? You haven't been replying to my messages and you haven't called me or-- or-- what's up? Are you okay-- have you been okay?" Jisoo asked, pulling back. He still held Jeonghan, hands on his shoulders, squeezing softly, and Jeonghan still held him, arms around his waist, loose and gentle-- and it felt like such a _Jeonghan_ hold, and Jisoo had missed him so much.  
  
"I'm okay, yes-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry-- I did get all of your messages, and I watched your video and-- and it was beautiful, and I should have replied to your messages, but--" Jeonghan sighed softly. He leaned into Jisoo again, buried his face in the boy's neck. His shoulders were tense and he was looking for protection or comfort or something; and Jisoo figured wrapping his arms around Jeonghan again was enough until Jeonghan told him what was going on.  
  
"Thank you for the song. I haven't stopped listening to it. I can't believe you wrote that." Jeonghan said, smiling; and it was him who pulled back this time-- to give Jisoo a kiss on the lips and completely change the subject from Jisoo's worry, "It sounded so professional-- I can't believe I ended up with such a talented boyfriend. I'm so lucky."  
  
"As am I." Jisoo whispered, fingers through Jeonghan's hair. He wanted to bring it up again-- wanted to ask Jeonghan a million questions until he broke and gave him answers, but that was no way to go about fulfilling wonders, especially when Jeonghan wasn't just a wonder to discover; he was a person with feelings that Jisoo really, _really_ cared about. So he would be respectful and he would wait until Jeonghan was ready. In the meantime, he would give smiles and comfort for reasons he didn't know, and he would maintain his relationship with Jeonghan in the sweetest way possible and make him happy in the hours they spent together, the only hours that Jeonghan might feel okay.  
  
"Do you want to come home with me today, baby?" Jisoo asked, and Jeonghan's shoulders went all kind of relaxed and relieved as he begged, " _Please_."  
  
And Jeonghan hummed. On their way to Jisoo's house, Jeonghan was humming Jisoo's song happily, a small grin on his face, his fingers tapping the melody out on the back of Jisoo's hand as his voice hummed a muffled echo of the words-- of Jeonghan's name and the love he expressed there. The song was written before Jisoo met Jeonghan. It was just Jisoo writing words of love as he wondered what love was, really; and when he met Jeonghan, the lyrics were modified at the melody was happier and it was about finding love and truly understanding what it was about. And, looking at Jeonghan now, humming that pretty love song, Jisoo thought he couldn't know love any better.

"What do you want to do, baby? Eat? Watch a movie? Tell me a story?" Jisoo asked. He asked as he was settling Jeonghan down, holding his hand as he sat gently on the couch, taking his jacket as he shrugged it off his shoulders. Jeonghan shrugged, "Anything. I just want to spend time with you."  
  
"Are you hungry, sweetie?" Jisoo asked. Jeonghan shook his head, "My friend just took me out for breakfast this morning. Seokmin. We were catching up a little bit this morning."  
  
Jisoo felt a small, small pang of jealousy at the fact that Jeonghan had met up with another person-- a small, small pang of anger that Jeonghan had met up with another person and left him hanging, left him worried, but he didn't allow himself to express these feelings. He was so glad he didn't, because Jeonghan was continuing on, "I was actually in the bakery when I saw him again. I was going to buy some coffee and bring it to you-- but by the time we were done catching up, school was halfway over and I just wanted to go to my class before it was completely through. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it, sweetie." Jisoo said. He felt a little disappointed at himself. Jeonghan needed space sometimes; he knew this. And, sure, Jeonghan could have just sent him an _I'm okay_ text, but Jisoo didn't need to worry about him every second of every day. Jeonghan trusted Jisoo. If something was wrong, if he needed help, Jeonghan would come to him. Jeonghan would come to him.  
  
"We should go out tonight." Jeonghan said. Jisoo had settled on the couch beside Jeonghan, right next to the arm, and Jeonghan had maneuvered himself to lay across the couch, head on Jisoo's thigh. He seemed sleepy, Jisoo noticed. His eyelids were growing heavier, and his blinking was slower. He looked up at Jisoo, tired smile on his face. "I don't have to be home tonight. Well. Not until late. I told my dad I didn't want to come home tonight. I told him I'd be late if I did go back-- and he said he was okay with it."  
  
"Okay, sweetie." Jisoo said. He was going to ask why Jeonghan was still getting permission from his father to be out late. He was in college now; he was an adult, but Jisoo didn't comment on this. He had learned not to comment on Jeonghan's family life; it wasn't any of his business, apart from the fact that Jeonghan never seemed to want to talk about it. Jisoo ran his fingers through Jeonghan's hair, soft, sweet, "Where do you want to go out?"  
  
"I was going to ask you." Jeonghan said. He shifted, gaze falling to the other end of the couch-- perhaps the wall. Jisoo couldn't tell exactly where he was looking, " _I'm_ going to take _you_ out. I'm going to pay for your meal for once-- because you always pay for me."  
  
"I like paying for you." Jisoo said. Jeonghan glanced up at him again, and Jisoo smiled at his eyes, "You always get so appreciative when someone does something for you. I get a billion kisses every time I spend so much as twenty on you."  
  
"I just really like to kiss you." Jeonghan said, smiling. Jisoo almost wished he was sitting up so Jeonghan could have accented his words with a kiss, but he figured they would have time for kisses later. Jisoo already had the idea of asking Jeonghan to stay with him that night; he _did_ tell his father he might not be home, and even if it was friday tomorrow-- they could just skip school, right? Perhaps Jeonghan wouldn't want to, though, after missing so much school already. Jisoo bit his bottom lip, nervous. He always felt so awkward being rejected.  
  
"You seem to have a lot on your mind, Jisoo." Jeonghan said softly. Jisoo blinked, realizing he hadn't replied to what Jeonghan said. His vision focused back on Jeonghan from where he'd blacked out in his own thoughts. Jeonghan wore a worried expression, "Are you okay? Would you rather stay in tonight? I can order take-out... or-- or I can just go home--"  
  
"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" Jisoo blurted. Jeonghan blinked, his eyes widening a little bit-- at the sudden gasp of words or at the words themselves, Jisoo didn't quite know. Jisoo blushed. He meant to ask in a more romantic way, gentle, when Jeonghan was curled against his side and they were holding hands. Jisoo cleared his throat, "I mean. I'm-- I'm sorry. That was sudden. Is it-- is it too soon? To ask you to stay with me?"  
  
"N-no, it isn't too soon." Jeonghan said. He frowned slightly, "I just... wasn't expecting that, is all."  
  
"Do you not want to?" Jisoo asked, biting his bottom lip. Jeonghan's frown softened-- soft, soft, soft into a smile-- bright, bright, bright into a _beaming_ smile, "No-- no, I do. I really, really do. I'd love to stay."  
  
Jisoo beamed, too. Their hands floated toward one another, fingers intertwined. Jeonghan brought up the fact that he would need clothes and such for staying the night-- and he told Jisoo he would have to walk back to his house to grab them, but Jisoo brushed him off, called him silly, told Jeonghan he would just drive him there.  
  
"But I like walking." Jeonghan pouted. He pulled out his phone to glance at the time; it was getting a little late, now. They'd been sitting on the couch together for about an hour now. Jeonghan sat up, and he had to pause for a minute, head rushing at the sudden movement. Jisoo reached over, fingers massaging his shoulders softly-- something Jisoo's mother always did for him when he had a headache or had moved too fast. Jeonghan's shoulders relaxed, a little chuckle escaping.  
  
"Give me a minute to call my dad, okay?" Jeonghan asked, and Jisoo nodded. Jeonghan began to dial, and his finger hovered over the call button for a few hesitant seconds. Jisoo kind of wondered why he'd hesitated, but he pressed the call button, brought the phone to his ear. Jeonghan was tense at the other side of the couch as his phone rung. He relaxed a little when his father picked up. Jisoo didn't want to listen in on what Jeonghan was saying, but Jeonghan was _right there_ , "Dad? I'm-- I'm gonna stay with Jisoo tonight, okay? .... No, that's Seungcheol.... No, you-- you haven't met Jisoo.... Yes, he's safe. I promise.... Yes, he's my boyfriend.... Yes! Yes, that's him.... Yes.... Okay. Thank you. I'll be over in a few minutes to pack a bag, okay?.... I love you, too."  
  
Jeonghan hung up, stood up. He tucked his phone into his back pocket. He seemed a bit at ease, now, and Jisoo wondered why he'd been so tense as he was calling. Jeonghan smiled, "I'm going to walk down to my house to grab some things, okay? I'll be back."  
  
"Do you want me to walk you down, baby?" Jisoo asked. Jeonghan paused for a moment, seemed to consider, before he nodded, "Yes. That would be great."  
  
Jisoo had never seen Jeonghan's house before. The only thing he knew about Jeonghan's home was the fact that he lived quite close to Jisoo, else he probably wouldn't walk from Jisoo's house to his own almost every day. Jisoo didn't expect him to live _so_ close though-- only two blocks away from Jisoo's. He was surprised when they turned to walk up the slope leading up to a beautiful garden. Jeonghan's house was _beautiful_ , and Jisoo found it so fitting that such a beautiful boy lived in such a beautiful house.  
  
When Jeonghan and Jisoo came to the steps leading up to Jeonghan's porch, Jeonghan paused, turning to Jisoo. Jisoo knew Jeonghan didn't want him to go any further. He wouldn't question why, he told himself, and instead he let himself nod along to Jeonghan's words, "I'll just go grab some things, okay? I'll be out in just a minute."  
  
Jeonghan walked up the stairs, his steps bouncy and quick. He was at the front door, hand on the knob, when he paused. He stood there for a long moment before turning, looking at Jisoo at the end of the steps. He took in a deep, deep breath, and he asked, "Do you want to come in?"  
  
"Do you want me to?" Jisoo asked, feeling nervous himself. He had no idea what Jeonghan was trying to hide from him-- if he was really trying to _hide_ anything at all. Jeonghan's answer was a shaky hand held out, and Jisoo moved up the stairs, taking Jeonghan's hand softly. Jeonghan took another deep breath before opening the door to his home, tugging Jisoo in with him. The door shut behind them both, and Jisoo gasped softly.  
  
The inside of Jeonghan's home was even more beautiful than the outside of it-- and Jisoo couldn't help but think, again, how fitting it was that the inside of Jeonghan's house was beautiful just like Jeonghan's personality was beautiful. Jisoo glanced around a few times. So, so pretty-- the white and the baby blue on the walls, the setup of the living room, the fireplace beneath the television. Jeonghan kicked off his shoes, and Jisoo did, too, amazed by how soft the carpet felt beneath his sock-covered toes.  
  
"Dad?" Jeonghan called. A man that didn't look quite similar to Jeonghan came into the room. _Wheeled_ into the room. The man was in a wheelchair. He had a smile on his face upon entering, but his smile turned into a confused frown when he saw Jisoo. Jeonghan smiled at his father, "Dad, this is Jisoo. Jisoo, this is my father."  
  
"It's nice to meet you." Jisoo said, stepping forward and bowing, letting go of Jeonghan's hand in the process. He stepped back, and their hands met again. Jeonghan's father quickly smiled again, his expression once again joyed now that the confusion had gone--  
  
"Oh, my son's boyfriend! It's so nice to finally meet the boy that has been making Jeonghan so happy. Come here, if you will."

 

Jisoo stepped forward, Jeonghan following him. The man smiled bright at their intertwined fingers. He looked up at Jisoo's face, "Oh my. A very handsome one-- Jeonghan, you have a very good taste."

"Dad," Jeonghan muttered softly, shaking his head, but he had a fond smile on his face. He looked at Jisoo, and Jisoo turned his attention to Jeonghan, "I tell him a lot about you. He really appreciates your singing skills. I showed him your video."

"Ah, yes, a talented one, too. Jeonghan has a very big passion for singing, too. He doesn't like to sing around strangers, but if you're lucky enough, he'll sing for you one day. He has quite the beautiful voice-- I keep telling him to take his talent to the companies." Jeonghan's father was quite the talker. Jisoo could see where his boyfriend got it from. Jeonghan blushed softly, shook his head again with the same fond smile. He squeezed Jisoo's hand and looked in his father direction, "Well-- I'm going to go get some clothes and such. I'll be back down in a few minutes."

Jeonghan's father and boyfriend both watched him leave, bouncing up the stairs quietly. Jeonghan's father was the first to turn his attention back to Jisoo, but Jisoo followed immediately after, of course. The older man smiled, "He really does talk about you a lot, you know. It's been so long since I've seen him come home with a smile on his face-- and you manage to make him smile every day. How do you do it? I wonder-- he's a hard one to make happy."

"Really?" Jisoo asked, frowning softly, "He seems like such a happy person."

"Ah, yes-- you've only seen the good side of him. He doesn't really had a _bad_ side, but he has a rather negative one," the man sighed, "He is like that too often. Sometimes his depression really gets to him, you know. He becomes unmotivated to even take his medicine sometimes. Ah, but. He'd never gotten too bad. He knows what's good for him and what isn't. He won't keep someone around that's hurting him-- which is why I trust you so much. Jeonghan never wants to be around someone every day-- except for you."

Jisoo smiled softly, "I'm glad I could be the one."

"Oh, I am, too. You're a very handsome young man. You look very clean-- Jeonghan has told me you're very smart, and that you read his favorite series often. What is the series again?"

"Ah, it's the _Simple_  series. There are only four right now-- the fifth is supposed to be the last. It comes out in October."

"October! Jeonghan will be so happy to read his favorite book in his birth month," the man said, to which Jisoo laughed and nodded, "Yes. I was thinking about getting him the full series set for his birthday. He told me he doesn't own a copy of the books yet."

"Oh, what a sweet gesture," the man smiled. Jisoo opened his mouth to say something more, but he heard a shout-- a woman's shout from upstairs, a whimper that he was almost _sure_ should have been too quiet for him to hear, and a crash. Jisoo's eyes widened, his posture straighter with alarm. The man sitting in front of him sighed, hung and shook his head. Jisoo almost expected him to say something, to explain, but he just stayed silent. There was another noise-- like someone had been slapped, another shout from the woman, and then Jeonghan was running down the stairs-- _running_ , this time. Jeonghan grabbed Jisoo's hand, tugging him to the door quickly. Jeonghan threw on his shoes in seconds, and Jisoo tried to be as quick. Jeonghan seemed in such a rush-- he didn't even say goodbye to his father.

Jeonghan left the house quickly when Jisoo was ready, shut the door loudly-- nearly slammed it, and he pulled Jisoo down the steps quickly. They practically _ran_ back to Jisoo's house. Jeonghan didn't wait for Jisoo to open the door, just let himself in quickly. He didn't take off his shoes as he walked in, instead pressed his back to the wall and slid down, little sobs racking his body until he was sitting, face buried in his knees. Jisoo shut and locked the door softly, flicked on the light for the living room. He joined Jeonghan on the floor. He wasn't sure what to do. Jeonghan was sobbing, and his breathing was heavy, but it also sounded like he was having a difficult time getting oxygen into his lungs. Jisoo wondered if he was having a panic attack.

"Baby," Jisoo said softly. Jeonghan shook his head, sobbed again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was such a mistake-- that was such a mistake."

"Sorry? Baby, why? What happened?" Jisoo asked, and he didn't mean to-- he didn't want to ask Jeonghan to explain, but it was a go-to question when someone he knew was breaking down. Jeonghan looked up at him, wiped his eyes. Jisoo cringed at the red mark on his cheek, at the scratch just above his cheek. He ran his finger over the scratch softly, shocked when his finger came back red due to the blood there. It looked red, but he didn't think it was bleeding. But, looking now-- it was a _deep_ red. He was bleeding quite a bit.

"Baby, your cheek." Jisoo said softly. Jeonghan didn't say anything, only offered a sniffle in return. Jisoo wiped the blood on his jeans-- didn't really care about his pants. He just needed his hands clean so he could hold Jeonghan, bring him in and kiss the top of his head. Jeonghan continued to sob for a moment, but he calmed down easily enough, with Jisoo holding him tight and gentle at the same time, with Jisoo whispering and singing into his ear.

"I'm sorry." Jeonghan said, pulling back. He wiped his eyes, "I knew it was a mistake bringing you inside."

"Baby-- what happened?" Jisoo asked softly. Jeonghan chuckled, "My sister. My older sister. She, um.... Well. She kind of acts like the mother in the house, you know, ever since her mother died. And she-- she fucking _hates_ my guts. She hates me so, so much."

Jeonghan sobbed again. Jisoo wiped his tears away for him, listening carefully as Jeonghan spoke, "And I just feel sorry to her, because I came and I invaded her house. I was _thirteen_ when we met. _Thirteen_. She was fifteen. She didn't want some stupid, bratty little brother to annoy her and take over the room that used to be all for her-- for her clothes and her games. It was her storage room, and then it was _my_ room. I was-- I was just really, really sorry to her. I was so, so sorry. I still am."

"Why--"

"I'm adopted." Jeonghan said. Jisoo coughed at the shock, to which Jeonghan gave a fond smile, "Yes.... And then my sister felt like I wasn't good enough for our father. He always wanted a little boy. He can't kick her out-- of course not. She's his _daughter_. And-- and he won't kick me out, either, but I'm trying to move. I'm trying so, so hard to find a place on my own. I will. One day, I will. One day soon, I will, and she can live happily again with her father."

Jisoo had a question bubbling in his throat. He wondered if now was the right time to ask. No-- no, because Jeonghan was still speaking, "She's going to live there for the rest of her life, to help my father out and all. She doesn't want to move away from him. She found a really, really steady job here, and all of her friends are here. She's really happy here. I'm the only problem. I have to go. I _have_ to."

Jeonghan took in a deep breath, rubbed his eyes again. "I'm just glad she didn't come downstairs. She might not have reacted too well to you. She hates having other people in her house. She only likes Seungcheol, because she has a crush on him."

Jisoo couldn't find any words to say, so he brought his hands up and ran them through Jeonghan's hair. Jeonghan smiled at the touch, happy and fond again. Jeonghan sniffled, caught one last tear with his index finger. "Thank you for coming with me, Jisoo. I don't think I would have come back here, honestly. I would have stopped halfway through running and broken down somewhere. I do that so much, you know. So, so much. You really are an-- an anchor for me."

"I love you." Jisoo said. He brushed Jeonghan's hair back with his fingers, and their eyes met, gazes locked on each other, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Jeonghan said fondly. He leaned in and kissed Jisoo. It was a soft kiss-- sweet and simple. It was the calm after the storm, the deep breath Jeonghan needed to take, the fresh air Jeonghan needed to breathe in. He pulled away from the kiss with a sigh, but it was a content sigh, and when Jisoo opened his eyes, Jeonghan still had not. He leaned forward, pressed their foreheads together, smiled. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Thank you for trusting me." Jisoo said. Jeonghan opened his eyes, a soft look of confusion reflecting in his gaze. Jisoo's hands closed around Jeonghan's palms, "You trust me with your secrets-- your personal life. I'm really grateful that you shared that with me. I'm really happy that you trusted me."

"Honestly, I've trusted you so much. For so long. I was just-- so, so scared to have you come over." Jeonghan said. He sniffled again. He leaned into Jisoo's chest, hugged him tight. His cheek was pressed against Jisoo's shoulder, and Jisoo could feel the blood seeping-- slowly, or perhaps those were tears. Jisoo held Jeonghan close, rubbed his back until he was relaxed, until he had started to laugh into Jisoo's neck for no reason. It was his way of letting go of the stress, of relaxing completely after something bad had happened. He just laughed, let himself be happy. Jisoo thought it was such a beautiful way to be okay again.

"Your cheek, baby, I should put a bandage over it." Jisoo said. Jeonghan frowned, pulling away from Jisoo. He looked confused for a moment until he saw the blood on Jisoo's jacket. He gasped, bringing his hand to his cheek.

"Your jacket! I'm-- I'm so sorry--"

"I'm not worried about it. I would have stopped you from leaning against me if I was." Jisoo said. He brought Jeonghan in for another kiss-- just because he could, just because he wanted to. He tapped softly on Jeonghan's thigh, a gesture for him to stand, and Jeonghan did, helping Jisoo up. Jisoo's legs were numb, and Jeonghan's seemed to be, too. They walked carefully into the kitchen together, with Jisoo sitting Jeonghan on the counter and grabbing for his first aid kit. He didn't need much from there-- just one of those big, big bandaids that would cover the gash on Jeonghan's cheek. The bandaids he had were a bright white and looked like ones that would be seen over scars or something of the like-- something from a hospital. Jeonghan touched the bandage when Jisoo had put it on-- after he'd cleaned the blood off of Jeonghan's face and had dried his cheek so the bandaid would stick. Jisoo chuckled at his little bought, "What's wrong, baby? Does it hurt?"

"I look ridiculous, don't I?" Jeonghan asked, to which Jisoo shook his head, "Of course not, baby. You're still as beautiful as ever."

Jeonghan smiled, blushed; Jisoo wished the bandaid wouldn't be covering half the blush on his left cheek. Jeonghan's smiled faded away a little bit. He bit his bottom lip, looking almost nervous as he said, "I-I know I said I was going to take you out tonight, b-but...."

"You need a night in." Jisoo said, giving Jeonghan a soft smile. He ended up ordering food from the little place that delivered-- it was located only a small number blocks from Jisoo's house, even closer to Jeonghan's. Jeonghan continued to apologize for not going out with Jisoo, promising it wasn't the band-aid, promising he would take Jisoo out soon. Jisoo silenced his little apologies with a kiss to the corner of his lips, the other corner, the center of his mouth. He told Jeonghan not to worry, that he really just wanted to sit inside with Jeonghan anyway. They were closer than ever that night-- both in their relationship and in physical contact. Jeonghan curled into Jisoo as he was eating. Jisoo wrapped his arms around Jeonghan, careful not to drop food in his hair as he was taking bites. They ate without speaking, instead watching the first, second, and third episodes of a drama that Jisoo put on. They were finished eating halfway through the second episode but continued to watch, finding themselves addicted to the laughter it allowed them.

"It's early," Jisoo started. Jeonghan had been moving closer and closer to him as the night went on. Jisoo was sitting straight up on the couch, ankles crossed on the floor. Jeonghan had his legs on the couch, tucked beneath him. He was leaning back against Jisoo, _this_ close to sitting on his lap. Jisoo had both arms wrapped around him, now, and their fingers were intertwined-- both hands. Jeonghan turned to look at him, hair falling over his shoulder. Jisoo was close to his lips; he hoped he would receive a kiss for his next words, "I know it's so, so early in our relationship to be thinking about living together, but after tonight, I-- I have to ask if-- if you want to stay here with me."

Jeonghan looked shocked, and he stuttered over a few breathless syllables until Jisoo interrupted, "Or-- at least, I-- I want you to _know_ , at least, that you can stay here whenever you want. If you need a week away from home, you can come here, you can stay here. If you need a month, feel free. If you need until the end of the year-- my home is yours, and I want you to be happy. I want you to be safe."

Jeonghan had tears building up in his eyes. Jisoo brought a hand up into Jeonghan's hair, palm brushing against his cheek. Jeonghan didn't kiss Jisoo, not right then. Instead, he nuzzled into Jisoo's neck, hiding his eyes there-- so that Jisoo _felt_ him cry rather than _see_ it. Jisoo let Jeonghan cry in silence for a few moments. Jisoo counted five tears against his collar bone before Jeonghan lifted his head-- and there was his kiss, and there was his smile and his laughter through those tears. Jeonghan wiped away his own tears, letting out small, separated laughs of relief, of disbelief, of-- "I love you so much, Jisoo."

"I love you." Jisoo replied. Jeonghan kissed him-- again and again and again. He never did answer Jisoo that night, whether he was going to stay tomorrow, or if he was going to stay for the next week-- the next month, the next year, forever, but Jisoo didn't need an answer, and Jeonghan didn't need to give one.


End file.
